Forgiveness
by Raefire6
Summary: Even geniuses make mistakes. Hunted and on the run, who will be the one to comfort him? One-shot


Donnie stared down at his hands as his older brother carefully sat down next to him. He would have protested to Raph sitting down on the hard cold floor of the tunnel out of concern for his health, but his brother wouldn't have listened and there were more important things on the genius turtle's mind at the moment. He heard Raph grunt from the pain as the red-banded turtle settled down beside him, and Don was about to tell him to be careful and be mindful of his wound but his mouth seemed to be glued shut. They sat in silence for what must have been only a few seconds but felt to Donnie like an eternity. Guilt racked his mind, and he suddenly wondered if Raph was trying to punish him with his silence.

Don knew what his brother must be thinking. He knew all the pain and blame was radiating towards him and wished Raph would just come out and tell him so. Yell at him for being such an idiot, scream that this was all his fault; the Lair being destroyed, what happened to Leatherhead, the fact that they may never see their sensei again, and on top of it all Raph may be bleeding to death from a wound he never would have received if Donnie hadn't messed with things that weren't meant to be messed with. He even wanted his older brother to hit him, scream at him, anything but this silence. Don sighed. Both his older brothers had tried to warn him, but Donnie had thought that he had known better.

As Raph continued to say nothing, Don felt his anger start to spike.

"Well?" He snarled suddenly. Donnie thought Raph was going to jump at his outburst but was disappointed when his brother remained still.

Raph calmly turned to him. "Well, what?" he asked.

"Well, go ahead and yell at me already!" Don hissed.

Raph looked surprised. "Why?"

"You know very well why!" Donnie exploded. "This is all my fault… this entire night is my fault! I'm the one who created these monsters that have destroyed our home, separated us from our sensei and are trying to kill us! You got hurt because of me! Why are you just sitting there and not yelling at me for ignoring you and Leo?"

Don felt the tears start spilling from his eyes and he quickly turned away from his brother. Knowing it was all his fault was one thing… but admitting it out loud to Raph had felt like stabbing a hot iron into his chest. He hugged his knees to his chest and tried to stop the sobs that shook his body. _All my fault… all my fault…_

Donnie suddenly felt a strong hand on his shoulder and didn't resist as Raph pulled him into an embrace. He buried his head in his older brother's shoulder and just cried, letting out all the guilt, pain and fear of the past few hours and allowing Raph's strong, reliable arms to protect him until it all faded away. He knew he shouldn't be letting Raph hold him like this, the hug would agitate the older turtle's wound and possibly even reopen it under the tightly wrapped bandages. But at the moment Don didn't care. He needed his older brother to comfort him, needed the release and safety Raphael always provided ever since they were little. But most of all, Donnie needed Raph to forgive him.

"Shhhh… It's okay, Donnie." Raph soothed. "Everything's going to be okay. It's not your fault, Don. None of this is your fault."

"How can you say that?" Donatello sobbed. "Of course it's my fault!"

"No one can blame you for what you did, Donnie." Raph replied. "So don't do the whole self-blame thing. We get enough of that from Leo."

"What do you mean?" Don asked, pulling himself out of the hug just enough to look into his brother's face. Raph looked thoughtful as he carefully rubbed away the tears that were still spilling down Donatello's cheeks.

"Let me put it this way." He said. "Take Mikey. His being sick right now really isn't helping our efforts to get to safety. Riding his skateboard out in a thunderstorm and then playing video games instead of taking a warm shower was a pretty stupid thing to do. Maybe this is all Mikey's fault. Do you blame Mike for being sick and causing our task to be that much harder?"

"Of course not!" Donnie exclaimed. "It's not his fault he got sick. Sure it came because of his negligence, but he didn't know this was going to happen! He was just being Mikey."

Raph smiled at his answer, but his face quickly turned thoughtful. "Okay, so we can't blame Mike. Maybe we can blame me then. Face it Don, me getting injured isn't exactly helping our cause. I was stupid to get this wound and it will be because of me that we're slowing down when we really can't afford it. Maybe this is all _my_ fault."

"No, it's not!" Don protested, not believing what his older brother was saying. "There's no way you could've helped getting injured. It's not your fault that one of the creatures stabbed you."

Raph tilted his head. "True. But I ran in front of the blade. It's my fault this happened."

"You were trying to save Leo!" argued Donatello. "You took the blow for him. If you hadn't moved in front of him, Leo would be dead! You do that all the time, Raph. You're always taking blows for us. It's part of who you are!"

The smile on Raph's face widened. "And that's exactly why it isn't your fault, little brother." He said softly, pulling Don back into his embrace. "Exploring, wondering, testing the limits… that's what you _do_, Brainiac. That's who you are. There's no way you could have known this would happen. You just did what you do all the time and we can't blame you for that."

"But, the creatures-" Donnie began, but Raph quickly cut him off.

"So what? You did something stupid and created a problem, Don. None of us are innocent of that." He shrugged. "And it's no biggie. We solve strange problems like this all the time. This will be no different."

Donnie looked into his older brother's golden eyes, hoping beyond hope that what he was hearing meant what he thought it did.

"So," He said sheepishly. "Does… Does this mean you forgive me?"

Raphael laughed. "For being an idiot? 'Course Don, I forgive Mikey for that almost every hour. For accidently creating these creatures that are running us out of house and home? I can't… because there's nothing to forgive."

Tears swelled up in Donatello's eyes once more and he nuzzled his head farther into Raph's shoulder. Gratitude overwhelmed him, driving away all his past feelings of guilt, pain and fear.

"Thank you, Raphie." He breathed, knowing fully well that those three words didn't even begin to cover what his brother had just done for him.

Raphael leaned down and kissed his head. "You're welcome, Brainiac. Now get some rest. You'll need it if you're going to help us figure this out. We need you Donnie."

Donnie nodded his head in Raph's shoulder, but he wasn't going to let his older brother get away that easily.

"Only if you sleep too, Raphie," He ordered, his Doctor Don voice sounding far less convincing than usual when muffled in Raph's shoulder. "You'll need your strength if you're going to heal from that wound. And I want you to heal as fast as possible because we need you too."

Raphael only chuckled softly, and Don took it as agreement. As he snuggled against his older brother, being mindful to not bump or joust his wound, Donatello felt himself relax for the first time in weeks. He waited until he felt Raph relax beside him before closing his eyes. Even on the floor of a cold, dirty sewer tunnel and with incredible danger on the horizon, Donnie couldn't have felt safer than laying there in the arms of his older brother. He knew Raph, even wounded as he was, would chase away all the monsters, both on the outside and on the inside. Don's last thought before drifting off into sweet oblivion was that one day he was going to return the favor.


End file.
